Yesterday i stopped after a month or so of running. And its now that i have stopped that i realise where i am. How far i have drifted from where i wanted to be.
Instantly somehow everything in myself seems alien to me. Alien because i refuse to accept it. I have no answer to anything that selfquestioning is coming up.
Never realised that sleeping had another benefit. It simply takes you away from ur self questioning self. Yeah that self from which u want to hide ur face but now as i have woken up, as when every one has gone to sleeping. I realise that accepting the reality will only help me reduce the limp in my walk.
Yeah its not the first time that i have stopped like that in the past few months or so. But donno why the heavyness of my head is much larger this time. Earlier i used to assure my self that i may be walking a road i don’t want to but as long as i keep my goals, destination in my mind i will reach thr. And thr’s never a single path for anything in life. yeah i know it looks nice and logical but its a lie, a selfassuring lie that may help u stand up and walk again and but you will again be walking the same path.
I don’t know where i will be when i stop the next time, what i will feel then. And also i don’t want to place any selfassuring lie again. But i will stop again, again to see where i am though i hope i won’t be writing this again.